How to Recover and Deal with the Guilt Associated with Burnout in Christian Education

Let’s start at the very beginning. Burnout is kind of like thirst. By the time you realize you’re struggling with it, you may already have one foot in the door toward dehydration. The best thing you can do is take the steps you’re taking now by reading this article. First, take a step back and realize that you have a problem. Then, assess the problem so that you can determine what the path out of burnout looks like for you.

Give Yourself the Space to Navigate Burnout

You’ve realized that you have a problem. Now, give yourself permission to not add to it. This might feel uncomfortable and uneasy, but for now, part of what this means, is giving yourself permission to say no to the things that you can say no to. As an educator or a mentor, this might add to feelings of guilt. But saying no now means that you can give a greater and more complete yes later.

Understanding What the Stages of Burnout Look Like

The term burnout was coined back in the 1970s by German-American psychologist, Herbert Freundberger. In exploring this phenomenon, he identified 12 stages common to its experience:

1. In this stage, ambition is practiced in excess. It starts by being an outward expression of a positive internal drive, or motivation. Along the way, as you bump into people and experiences, you start to feel like what you’re doing or who you are isn’t enough. Instead of backing down and assessing the situation, you try harder. You try to be more. You try to do more. And, because there’s no way it could, it doesn’t work.
2. Stage 2 is signaled by the unhealthy blending and blurring of your personal and professional lives, brought to you by uncertainty and insecurity. You may start receiving feedback that encourages this which gives you a similar hit of feel good chemicals, comparable to what gambling addicts experience when they feel the rush of a win.
3. You practice a certain level of situational blindness that causes you to practice conflict-avoidance and emotional suppression in service to the work that’s ahead of you.      
4. You start to put the needs of others ahead of your own in really unhealthy ways like by: not getting nearly enough sleep and neglecting relationships and personal maintenance tasks like exercise and eating. Around this stage, you may even start to notice things aren’t right. But, instead of listening to that internal voice, you’re more likely to…
5. Try and change who you are and what matters to you so that you don’t have to deal with the kind of cognitive dissonance that comes up otherwise. In the process of all of this, you get lost. Family and friends get lost in the shuffle. And, you’ve put self-care in the back seat, so there’s a complete shift in the way you evaluate your self-worth.
6. You expect for others to practice their dedication to what you’re working toward in the same way you do, forgetting to show grace to them because you’ve stopped showing it to yourself.
7. This stage is more about hiding. You slip into practices of release that you maybe wouldn’t if you had the kind of accountability around you that comes from community. By this time, the conversations you have with other people, your remaining relationships, they’re centered around work and work-related topics.
8. The personal relationships you do have left, for example with a spouse of a child really start to suffer from the strain as you fail to keep commitments, become irritable as a standard mode of operation, and continue to fail to prioritize your time appropriately.
9. You start to feel like you’re living your life on autopilot. Work may even be something you’re no longer able to think positively about.
10. You start to feel like you don’t have any value as a person. Your response to this may be to lean into habits that make you feel numb.
11. Exhaustion leads to depression.
12. Medical intervention may become necessary as your mind and/or body breaks down and forces you to stop.

What Saying “No” When You’re Feeling Burnt Out Means

Saying no to new tasks and commitments when you’re burnt out means you’re making a commitment to yourself and to those you’re serving. You’re choosing to make the commitment to give only your best to yourself and to those outside of yourself who you’re called to serve.

How the Guilt of Calling Contributes to Burnout

Do you know that who you are matters just as much if not more? What you have to teach doesn’t matter If it’s not presented well. Reception is elevated by holistic presence. Unfortunately, as a Christian educator experiencing burnout there’s a lie you might’ve bought into without even realizing it. It’s two-fold. The first part of this lie is that who you are is determined by what you do. Part 2 convinces you that if you’re not wearing yourself out in living out your calling, you’re not practicing good stewardship. Looking at these lies in plain words, it may be easy to see them as lies. The task becomes more difficult in the face of the fast pace of real life. Here’s the thing. What you practice becomes your go to. Because of that, it’s important for you to practice grace for yourself just as much as for others. Stewardship isn’t about what you do with what you don’t have. It’s about what you do with what God gives you. The limitations in time and resources, the opportunities to elevate experiences for those in both your personal and professional lives through partnership. All of these are part of the natural person you are, that you God’s entrusted both your classroom and relationships to.

Navigating Burnout as a Christian Educator

Navigating burnout in your role as a Christian educator starts with embracing your frailty and trusting that God will accomplish his purposes. Your humanity doesn’t surprise God. It’s something he will work through both for your good and for the good of those he’s entrusted to you.

Here are some practical ways you can lean into this:

• Identify an accountability partner who can hold you accountable for maintaining a daily habit of devotional time and making sure you’re connecting with God, the source of your strength.
• Before I go into this one, I will note that I’m not a medical doctor and so can’t give medical advice. However, it may be good for you to get a full medical workup. Feelings of burnout can be complicated by health challenges that may go unnoticed or unchecked without direct medical assessment. These kinds of things are important not to miss.
• The challenges associated with burnout are complicated by isolation and secrecy. Identify at least 2 or 3 people from your personal life and 2 or 3 people from your professional life. These people will be people who walk with you according the respective parts of your life, so that you have accountability for how you’re stewarding your roles and relationships.
• Find a counselor you can trust. This counselor will be someone who can help you to work through the challenges associated with the burnout you’re now experiencing, and can also be an additional line of defense when you’re stepping back into unhealthy patterns.
• Use the technological features associated with the devices you’re currently using. For example, the iPhone comes with both health and fitness apps. If you have an iPhone, you can use it to track a minimum step count you’d like to achieve. You’ll want to review the privacy notices to make sure that you’re comfortable with them. If you are, these may be tools you can add to your toolkit.
• Make time for rest. If it helps, you can start by taking one hour per day to dedicate specifically to resting, recharging, and achieving balance.

What are some of the challenges you’re noticing as you’re tackling the challenge of burnout? Share in the comments.